Introduction by Jeremy Weiland
In this session Q’uo addresses the despair and confusion that longtime seekers often encounter on their path. Pursuing a polarity does not mitigate against these feelings as catalysis and transformation work upon us. Q’uo encourages us to develop a relationship with pain that does not deny its sting while also learning how to ask for the help and faith to endure. As always, seeking a larger perspective in the present moment is a great aid in our desire to serve others and build our spiritual strength upon this love.
Among spiritual seekers, even including those who have been long on the spiritual path, there often comes a time when we feel lost or abandoned. Can Q’uo speak to this feeling, and what attitude we might take with regard to it that could lead to healing?
We are those of Q’uo and are with this group through this instrument at this time. We are also with you in the heart, and we ask the instruments to pull from that resource as they mediate our vibrations through the higher energy centers as we greet you in love and light, our perennial setting for contact. It is at once a reaching out of our hands to you, my brothers and sisters, but also an invitation to an environ of comfort.
You struggle so in your daily life. We would that you not struggle now, but relax. There is no performance to be had, no ideal to be elevated above your sacred journey, and we are your companions on your journey. This must be the lens through which our offerings of thought form and affect must be evaluated.
It is an interesting concept for an instrument to play this role of discernment; this is a curious phenomenon. But you are acclimated to its quiddities, its indeterminate sectors of volition, and we trust that you will discard any idea or implication that moves you to confusion, that places you on the side of mystery that dissipates your agency and your grasp of the till as you steer the ship of consciousness, not as captain so much as fellow officer in a cadre, all seeking a shore of light and love – not what we would conceive of as a goal, but what you would conceive of as a goal.
Therefore, we are ever at your mercy to use your discretion to contextualize what we have to offer, for direction we cannot give, only encouragement and admiration for what is difficult and what is moving the Creator’s game piece forward on the board. We thank you for offering us contact, and relish the opportunity to engage with you on a more down to Earth level, as you might say, for your group is often in the ethers. This is a wonderful gift to us and to those few who will benefit from your efforts, but you also deserve support; you, too, deserve help. And if there is one idea we would convey to you from our position in the Creation, it is the idea that needing help is right.
When you detect your own inadequacy in some manner, you are not deceived. You see, individuation of the Creator’s wholeness is never intended to be without, at the very least, the penumbra of peril. You are to be broken down by the process of catalysis. Even in its chemical sense, what is its effect on the bonds of molecules but to rearrange them? And it deviates consciousness even at that first density level in a way that causes discombobulation.
The upside is the view of the long run, the way in which the dominos are stacked up not for the purpose of building a timeless monument to human endeavor. They are erected to be knocked down, to release the potential involved in their objectness itself. You are not at a loss in this instance of feeling adrift. There is potential being accrued.
We take a moment to deepen this instrument’s state and steady its vibratory bridge with our complex.
(Approximately 5 second pause)
We are those of Q’uo and are with this instrument to continue.
What is a life? It is a wave. If you want the timeless security of stasis, you are in the wrong room, my brothers and sisters. Instead of yearning for that which is not available in large supply in this sector of awareness, we encourage the meditation upon desire. This instrument was once long ago offered the advice that when the hunger for improvement of mindset, the yearning for the upward spiraling light, falters, when desire seems not to draw one along the path back to the Creator, it is in those instances when the question of purpose is thrown back upon the seeker.
What do you desire, my brothers and sisters? It is your job to determine this. It is not for us or any other representative of the Creator to hand this to you on a silver platter, and you know this. Why then do entities such as yourself revert to this disempowered helplessness, when the bounty of love and light is always at hand? It is in desire that you find your salvation, but we would admit this insight into one’s deepest motivating energies cannot always be available.
It is another aspect of the mystery of individuation. You have walked this dark path with an entire planet, and the light is starting to stream from the end of the tunnel. But you are not there yet, and how, this instrument asks, should you make sense of your deflation in certain moments?
To explore this nebulous area of the self, we would release contact with this instrument and pass the baton to the instrument known as Steve to continue. We are those of Q’uo.
I am Q’uo, and we are with this instrument.
To continue with the theme of desire, we would ask you to consider that, though desire has many forms and many faces, it has an inward yearning, if you follow it through carefully enough, for what ultimately can only be called the light of the Creator, and as we have just said, this light shines perpetually as a beacon for your aspirations.
When you were young upon the path of spirit, and everything which you were experiencing and discovering was bathed in newness like dew upon an autumn morning, sparkling with the joy of hope and enthusiasm, when you were young upon the path, what was there to dampen your enthusiasm for the discovery of the higher realms of spirit? Now, to be sure, you knew these realms as those which have not yet been very thoroughly explored at all, and therefore, something of the nature of your commitment to the spiritual path surely was redolent of your eagerness to explore that which was not yet known. However, during the course of your spiritual seeking, has it not been the case that what formerly was unknown, and therefore greatly mysterious as well as alluring, became gradually less unknown, which is to say, more familiar to you. This is surely a good thing, for it is a sign of progress. It is a sign that your seeking is beginning to bear fruit. It is a sign that the open heart, which for you has been the gateway into the higher regions of spiritual seeking, is sustaining you in this effort, and that your ability, more and more, to allow that which can illuminate you from above, is becoming more and more constituent of the manifest being that you yourself are becoming.
Yes, yes, and yes. Every day, things are getting better. Every day, you find more to sustain your effort, and to draw you forward. Every day, the spirit of new love invests you with that hope that perhaps can best be described as faith. Every day, this faith becomes more and more a part of who you are. Every day, faith — faith itself — becomes more everyday. Faith itself gets lost in the everyday, faith itself becomes submerged in the everyday, and it can seem to come to pass that the everyday has so overtaken faith that faith itself has become but a memory fast fading, a vanishing concept — or is it a value, or is it a memory so obscured by the troubles of the day that it hardly holds sway at all? So that now the spiritual path seems to have gotten tangled and twisted to the point that the effort you make is no longer an effort to break through to new levels of spiritual delight, but rather to recapture something which has been lost.
You are not infused any longer with the delight of the new, but are rather beset by the difficulty of attempting to ascertain where it is that you have gone wrong, where it is that you have taken a misstep such as to find yourself back into a condition that you had thought to have transcended, lo! those many years ago. And you are no better off, so it would seem, than you were, when it first occurred to you, in the depths of your desire, that you might want something more than what seemed to be on offer in that realm of experience which is commonplace. Now you begin to find that you are chained to these lower realms of experience by feelings that hold you back, in a state of — Is it anger? Is it resentment? Is it fear? Or is there a covering condition, including, in some chaotic way, all of these affects? A depression? A despair, clearly the very opposite of the faith that had previously invested your desire?
These earthly entanglements in the everyday can be so strong in the hold they have over you that it seems that, within them, there is no way to gather yourself to the ability even to desire the world of spirit that you know very well lies above you. And without this desire, how do you make the spring? How do you find the strength of limb to make the effort, to push yourself, to engage in that long upward climb you now only remember yourself to have taken before in the new enthusiasms of your youth?
How can one find the desire? What and where are the resources? I, who have fallen into this condition, am unsure about who I am. I, who have fallen into this condition, am unsure about how to relate to those around me. I, who have fallen into this condition, which so cries out for love, am unsure how I might love in return. I, who have fallen into this condition, am unsure how even to speak to this condition into which I have fallen. But I do have a memory of better times. Where, O where! might I go from here? For surely it is not simply a matter of attempting to recapture a past quality. And yet I have, it would appear, no other road map available. Or do I? Or do I?
At this time, we would pass the contact to the one known as Claire. I am Q’uo.
I am Q’uo and I am with this instrument.
One might think that the despair, the feeling of abandonment or even betrayal that is possible, that the limits and extent of these feelings, that the boundless depths of these feelings are confined primarily to those who have yet to take steps very far upon their own path, those who have not yet awakened to the importance of polarization. Yet, we are sorry to say to you, this is not the case. As your appreciation of the realities and nuances of your experience of third density comes online, as you become familiar with the movements of catalyst in your life and open to the possibility of transformation, you also become sensitive to these depths.
It’s not for us to attempt to give you the happy feelings that might replace these very sorrowful ones. Unfortunately, transformation is difficult and will always be difficult, primarily because it involves a letting go, a release of what was so familiar and perhaps even grounding, centering, orienting. What previously worked so well, now is pallid. It feels like a desperate attempt to ease the pain, though it can only put it off. My friends, the feelings of abandonment available to you are always at their deepest in your third density. And in moments when transformation is imminent, even though it [the Creator] seems distant, it is not that the Creator has abandoned you, but simply knowing that the Creator has not abandoned you does not make the feelings themselves feel or seem any less vivid.
Intellectualization will not help you. Thinking the right thoughts will not transform your experience. As a matter of fact, in a situation such as this, where the spiritual path becomes a living death, where what previously felt alive now feels almost unimportant or distracting, or perhaps it feels as if one ought to be more enthusiastic than one is and yet the enthusiasm does not come; everything feels wrong–it’s tempting in this sort of situation to judge that there is something one is doing wrong, that one is not meditating enough, or that one is not spending enough time present to the Creator, or that one is not being loving enough to those in one’s life. But, my friends, when you find yourself in a circumstance such as this, there is in fact nothing to do.
We are not attempting to encourage the wallowing in despair, so to speak. It is just this sort of resignment to endless despair that produces, so often, an abandonment of a spiritual path altogether, the judgment that in fact there is not a Creator, that it was a happy delusion or a noble lie that one told oneself all along, and that now one has matured past the need for the noble lie, and simply needs to accept the meaninglessness of existence, to become small in the universe, to somehow push the boulder up the hill and yet smile.
We do not believe we will offer the solution to this paradox, but we do suggest that resigning oneself to despair is an abandonment of the faith that has carried you forth thus far. Transformation of this kind is not only a test of your faith, but is an opportunity to awaken to a new kind of faith. And in this new kind of faith, the only access one has to it is the abandonment of attempting to find it. It must find you. How this is to be done is itself a mystery. And we say this, not because we have not experienced it, but because each consciousness, each individualized portion of the Creator undergoes it in its own unique way. To attempt to characterize it further would not do justice to your unique experience and in fact would risk leading you astray, or worse: giving you the hope of some sort of action that you might take to mollify the pain. Indeed, the pain is part of the creation and somehow it must be loved as well. Somehow.
Even as we say this, your pain pains us, and we hope that you find the access to this new faith, that whatever was keeping you entombed falls away. And, in fact, we know it will in your own time. My friends, we believe in you. We would now pass the contact to the one known as Jeremy. I am Q’uo.
We are those of Q’uo and have returned to this instrument to tie a bow on this meditation on the uncomfortable, that which, in the yawning caverns of despair that all who walk this path must dip into, calls out in its very emptiness to the possibility of an ideal that pulls one back into the orbit of the Creator. This instrument already knows, for instance, what has allowed for deviation in his life, and yet looks without to have the why and wherefore made plain. It is one instance in a symphony of oscillating moods and foci.
So we point you back to the words of those of Ra. There is a cycle. It is designed to exercise consciousness in a 360 degree way. You must have faith that it is not a two dimensional plane upon which you rotate endlessly. Faith gives you a Z-axis to contemplate, that your cycling is nevertheless moving in a direction. You must feel it, my brothers and sisters; you must stop closing off from challenge.
The cycling is designed to pull you through these moments in which it seems best to curl up and sleep through your evolution. It is an old pattern you have evolved slowly away from, so do not judge yourself harshly for the reversion to past strategies. Instead, when you have been knocked down and leveled, look to the sprouts emerging from the rubble. Look to what is left unsaid in the chorus of laments.
You are perpetually displaced, for this is the nature of an illusion. It is only operative as illusion if it feels not quite right. If it felt that despair and pain and suffering were the normal condition, there would be no way out, and there would be no way up. This upward spiraling light crosses you through many colors, many moods, and many areas of confusion and distraction. This is all as it should be. You have resources, not to overcome suffering, but to extract from it what you temporarily lack.
Remember: you are on the path of the service to others pole. It is not your duty to push yourself forward, for the attraction of the light accomplishes this on its own. The illusion of separation, the figment of free will is easy to overemphasize, to attribute more choices and more variety than is often required for your spiritual purpose on this plane. You are surrendering to a current; you are not making the current. And so, when the stagnation sets in, my brothers and sisters, you feel it is incumbent upon you to reach for something more in every case of feeling arrested. But often it is to let go, it is to stop holding onto the anchor, that offers the best strategy for abiding pain.
This pain will not go up in smoke, so to speak. It will be your companion, for it creates an entity needful of companionship, of reflection through its other selves. This makes it a good thing in the cosmic sense, and what you cling to often blocks your view of the loving gaze of your fellow entities.
There are many things to do when one is languishing in the doldrums. All of them call to a capacity that you possess, and we are confident that those who have made the choice know what can be thrown overboard and what must be clung to. It is something you will look back on and throw your head back in laughter at the rueful nature of past struggles. They certainly made for interesting times!
Your life is a continuity, and in the present moment you find the keys to release. As we always point out, it is a matter of perspective. You need not dwell upon the cuts and scrapes incurred in your journey, but if you choose to, you simply store up potential for future release in another present moment, and faith will bridge that gap, for you will see that you are not stuck anywhere. You are perfectly free, and the pain comes along with this freedom. Meditation is always a refuge in which you may access the desire that placed you here on this footing at this position, so that suffering and depression can serve as assets at the end of the day.
And with this thought, we would open this communication to questions from your group. We are those of Q’uo.
(No questions offered)
Very well, my brothers and sisters. We are those of Q’uo and offer a small parting thought.
Polarity requires a duality. You work with this duality, but not as an ultimate endpoint, merely as a station. Cling to meditation; retreat, when you need to, to a place where the dualities dissolve. Perspective: what have we offered time and time again but the strategy of changing the vantage point. It is here you have the most agency to work with your situation so that what seems like an endless circle begins to cast a shadow that suggests movement in a direction you may not even be able to imagine.
This is the role of inspiration. It is at hand, my friends. The point is not to invest you with all of the responsibility for your condition; the point is to turn your head towards those rays of light. The beacon always shines; you need only look at it, and you also need not always gaze in its direction. All is well.
We are those of Q’uo. We are on your side and love you and ask that you love each other. With that thought we shall take our leave now, abiding with you in the love and the light of our one infinite Creator. Adonai.