Introduction by Steve Tyman
Q’uo here addresses the issue of love in the context of human experience, where it is described as an essential portion of a cycle in which love seems to become first lost and then recovered. In this respect, love undergoes transformations that deepen the life experience of the mind/body/spirit complex that aspires to evolve.
I am Q’uo, and we are with this instrument on this fine, fine day. We are one who communicates with you from out of the many of what we may call Concerned Citizens of this tiny portion of the cosmos, attempting to aid a planet going through what we may call “growth pains.” We are one; we are many; we are many as one.
We would speak to you today upon the subject of love, which we have challenged this instrument to reflect on and to take what may be a deeper view with respect to. We have spoken upon other occasions of the sense in which Love may be regarded as a principle fundamental to the Creation, and in fact the Creative Principle itself. This is a subject almost inexhaustible. But it is not the focus we would take today, for today we would speak of the more limited sense of love as it comes into play as an activity that you may undertake, as an experience which you may appreciate, and therefore as a portion in the cycle of third density life. More particularly, we would like you to consider the role of love as one in a many, as part of a sequence that may be considered as a kind of cycle of its own.
The sequence of which we speak begins not in what we are now calling love, but rather in what we would ask you to consider as desire. Desire is the first moment of the sequence we present for your consideration today.
Love is that which draws to itself that desire and also at the same time that which is desired and still at the same time the fulfillment of that desire, or what we may prefer to call the fruition or realization of that desire: desire, therefore, which has completed itself, most often in such a way that one may think of it in objectified terms as the beloved.
And so we have the first two moments of the sequence we are inviting you to consider being desire and love. Now, at the risk of dampening down your spirits, which we would add we do not intend to do, we would like to add as the third element in this sequence the concept of despair. And by despair here we mean to indicate love which has become forlorn, love which has become lost, love which has become broken, torn, and fragmented. This is what we call despair.
We will not leave you in this condition of despair, my friends, for we propose as the fourth element to be considered in the sequence we are inviting you to consider to be that of healing. [It is a] healing, which does not restore love to the condition which it previously occupied, but, by mending a love which has been accomplished or achieved only to be dissolved into the despair of rupture, has in fact the potential to create something beyond the original condition or expression or manifestation of that which we have called love.
Desire fructifies itself so as to become love, which, in the vast adventure you call life, inevitably finds itself broken on the shoals of harsh catalyst, and rediscovers itself in a state of despair, much in need of that which is yet on offer, to wit, the healing.
Desire leading to love, leading to despair, leading to healing. And in the healing, we now want to suggest, there is a mysterious phenomenon that arises insofar as that which has become healed, that which lies at the heart of the mind/body/spirit complex, discovers in itself another form of desire. [It is] a desire that is registered in a higher pitch, if you will, a desire that is perhaps better called a yearning. And in this yearning there is, once again, a relation to love, which once again finds itself subject to the agonies of fracture through catalyst, and therefore in the state of despair, and therefore yet again in need of healing.
Now we have presented these facets of the life in the way that we have done to suggest that, in fact, each portion of the cycle we have indicated is an essential moment, and not therefore to be despised.So, as we now propose to look more closely at each of these moments, we would like you to consider the possibility that each moment is a sacred moment of a process leading always and inevitably back to the Creator.
Let us begin by looking more closely at the notion of desire. Desire is two things at once. If you look at it from the outside, it appears to be a great, driving energy. And one gazes at the Creation to see the effects of desire in this sense everywhere expressed. The Creation is full to brimming with the desire to be, and to be more, and to be more, and to be more. And yet as one gazes at the Creation in this way, seeing it as a phenomenon presented before the gaze, one senses also that what one sees is subtended by something one does not see, except in such a way as that which is called feeling may register within the self. One knows the experience of desire most intimately from within. One hardly ever lives without desire. One may even speak of desire as being coeval with livingness itself, for does one not refer to one whose appetite for life has been somehow abrogated as someone who has lost the very desire to live?
To be, for me, is to desire. But what do I desire? I may desire this, I may desire that, I may desire you, or you, or you. I may desire to undergo a transformation in my very desire. And if I do not attain that which I desire, I am in a wastrel’s state of being incomplete in myself. And so I spare no effort in seeking to attain the object of my desire. And should this come about, should I attain the object of my desire, the desire is at least momentarily abated — not quenched altogether, as a dimension of my being, but quelled in the urgency of the demands it makes upon me. And when that state has been achieved, when I no longer feel an urgency to reach out and draw back to myself, I have attained a kind of equilibrium. And when this equilibrium is featured in relation to a state of affairs, or, most interestingly, another self, this is what I call “love.”
“I love you,” I say to my beloved. And in this love there is a sense of completion; there is a sense of fulfillment; there is a sense that I am no longer limited to the parameters of my previously small being. There is a sense in which I no longer need to desire to be more, for what could be more than to be able to bask in the glory of my love for you, who by some miracle of the Creation may love me back?
When I am two, I am more than one. Yet, strangely, by a paradox beyond the capacity of that understanding which affords itself to third density, in the twoness of my unity with you, I am more one than ever I have been before.
But, alas! Is that an angry word I hear from my beloved? Is that an accusing look? Is that a sorrowful complaint? And woe! Woe! Woe are we! For we two again are torn asunder. We two again are twain. And that beauteous unity which I have felt in your presence I now feel no longer except as a memory. And the very memory is a torture to me, for it is the memory of love lost.
And in the memory of love lost I discover again that I am thrown so back upon myself that I dwell in the living reality of despair. And in the condition of despair, I discover that all hope is lost, for I come to realize that, to reach backward towards a love that I now despair of, is to reach for that which can never be recaptured. For the love which I experienced belonged to that sacred and sylvan moment in which no doubt of itself could ever be discovered. But experience has now taught me to discover that very doubt. And it is in this doubt that I now dwell, wondering why that which was so complete could become fragmentary, could have become blasted to bits, so that I don’t yet know where to place this feeling that will not coalesce into any coherent sense of where I am, where I am going, who I am, or what I may do. Here I am, in despair.
And despair is such a radical condition if you look at it in its purity, that there are no resources from within the known self that can resolve the despair into any better condition. And so I despair; I linger long in my lost love. I flail around in the environs created by stray emotions that will not come together into a coherent whole. And I wonder why, and I wonder and make demands that cannot be met upon the Creation, until finally I am so emptied out of all hope that I may have the answer that I realize that the only answer I may ever find lies without, and yet does so in such a way that the “without” of which I speak must at the same time be that which is most deeply within. And I now come to the recognition that I never have known who I am, that I never have been in possession of the love that I thought was mine, that I never could take responsibility for the desire that, once again, I thought was mine, that had led up to that love which was its grace. All of this, I now come to recognize, I could not own, for that which lies so deeply buried within me is as unknown to me as the vast cosmos above.
How can I be worthy of this vastness which lies within? No known capacity which I may ascribe to myself, no known talent, such as I have prided myself in the possession of, could come to my rescue. No known grace or adornment of my human condition is equal to the task of providing the only salvation for my condition of despair. For I have truly reached the dark night of the soul.
Now, my friends, when I report to you from this condition of the dark night of the soul, I come to recognize that I have nothing left to lose. I have not even the ability to lose myself. I cannot die. And yet I cannot provide myself with what I need to live. Only within this extremity do I begin to sense that there is yet within me that which still does, after all, hope. That which, in that hope, may yet learn to reach, and that which, in the reach, has found that desire may yet now have a new meaning for me. I feel an upsurge of a desire that I don’t feel the need or even the possibility of owning. For it is a yearning. It is a yearning that seeks fulfillment that yea even now may be finding fulfillment in love. And, yes, are those your eyes looking back in my direction from within this moment? Is my love for you grounded, shall we say, in some mutuality of yearning neither of us can own? Some hope wrought from the entrails of despair that has drawn upon some incomprehensible source of healing that does not sweep away the past, but, by placing it in an atmosphere, shall we say, that is comprehensive in a way that I previously could not have embraced, serves to heal all that which was broken, all that which could not find its way to relationship, all that which threw me into despair?
Now, how could I ever be so bold as to say that this newfound love, this love on a higher plane, will yet be the love that last forever? How could I dare to say that I will never face a new kind of despair, an even deeper kind of despair than I have ever felt before? No, I could never venture to say that. For I now recognize the fragility of love. But is with this concept of love that we have chosen to place the hope which is the carrier-wave of our communication with you today. And therefore we will not descend again into the cycle going forth into despair and into healing and into desire and back again to yet a third phase of love, for we feel that we have explored sufficiently and communicated our sense of a way to emplace love in a cycle of beingness so that it is a culminating moment that cannot be clung to, but must always only be celebrated in the exalted momentary experience that offers of completion. Even such is the experience that one may have when one discovers that the ultimate object of love is infinite, and that the Infinite is not simply a barren concept, but is rather the fulness of love. And that this fulness is so configured as to be to me a drawing and intelligent energy that is an invitation, perpetually registered in the very core of my being, for the fulfillment of that being in a way that enables the being to understand that it is a vital portion of Being itself, not limited to a narrow self that ever needs to despair.
We have felt the need to offer these words to this instrument as words of hope and encouragement and healing that do not denigrate the depth, the reality of hurt that this instrument, as so many, many, many others upon this planet, and indeed throughout the cosmos as a whole, have experienced. No life of which we are aware lacks the depths into which sorrow inevitably must reach. Just as none lack the heights into which joy always may reach.
We are those of Q’uo. We have joined this group in the hope that we may bring such healing energies as we have to offer as our humble gift to those who are earnestly going about the business of seeking to heal. At this time, we will step back briefly — step aside — that this instrument has asked us to permit. I am Q’uo.
Speaking now as the instrument, I want to render my thanks to those of Laitos, who have worked with me these many months to make this event possible, and who now have informed me that they are now on the brink of a transition to the density of wisdom. Thank you, Laitos. I thank you.
I am Q’uo, and am again with this instrument. And we would like to communicate to this instrument that Laitos, who is here with us, wishes to deliver a very heartfelt, “You are welcome.”
I am Q’uo, and at this time we would like to ask if there are any queries upon the minds of those present.
Jeremy: Yes Q’uo. I have a query. Could you speak to the process that you described in the context of a group such as ours, specifically?
I am Q’uo, and I believe I understand your query, my friend. As you know, we are limited in the way that we may respond to such a query by the law of free will. We do not wish to infringe upon the free will of this group or of any other. We may speak generically, but there again, we must be careful, for those in this group are no fools, may we say, and so will be able to draw conclusions from remarks which we may make that are applicable rather directly to known circumstances. Therefore we are at a second level of generality in our response.
A group, like an individual, may feel the same cycles at work. It may come together in one great exalted moment in a condition of grace and harmony and love, and it may find that condition not sustainable for a myriad of reasons so numerous as to be beyond the capacity of being articulated. And that group may find itself in a state of despair as a result, and in a facet of that state which we did not go into in this session, (but which we may do at some future point if it is of interest to you), which specifies that not all states of despair are consciously known to the one who is in despair, And so you may have a kind of inner chaos obtaining in such a way that it is not observed by the individual or the group that is in that condition, thinking that it has achieved a state of stasis which is in reality, and as time will tell, not in fact sustainable.So that which we have presented as a cycle obtaining at the level of the individual can also be seen as a cycle that obtains at the level of a group, which group may then need healing, and which may yet find, within that healing experience, the seeds of newborn hope, leading to a refinement of the desire to be of service, and a yearning that may yet culminate in a higher condition of service.
We would apologize for the abstractness of our response, but considering the first distortion of the Law of One, which is well known to you, you will perhaps forgive our sparsity of information.
We are those of Q’uo. Is there another query at this time?
Jeremy: Q’uo, I do not have a query, but as the instrument has done, allow me to express to Laitos my deep respect and love for the heartfelt love they have shown me and the tears they have shared with me as well as the wisdom that issued from that. I thank them deeply.
I am Q’uo, and we can respond that your feelings of gratitude are greatly, greatly appreciated, and greatly reciprocated.
We are those of Q’uo, and as it seems that the energies of the group have reached a quiescent state in contemplation of our communion, may we thank the members of this group for the dedication each has shown in making significant personal sacrifices to be at this place at this time, that we may do the work of spirit together as one. Adonai, my friends. Adonai.