Making their first contact with the Richmond Meditation Circle, Auxhall (often spelled as “Oxal”, but we feel this spelling better captures the vibration) explains the nature of faith as a situating plenum of comfort as well as an orienting pressure on an entity. Faith provides the basis for connecting the lessons of catalysis with the deeper desires of the evolving mind/body/spirit complex, so that it learns to understand these desires at levels that partake more and more of the total self. This allows the waking personality to cooperate in this complex’s project as it learns to recognize and accept itself. Those of Auxhall also address questions related to willpower, imagination, and the distinction between intuition and conscious thinking.
How do we maintain faith that there are no mistakes and we will receive the catalyst we need? How do we stay centered in spite of the various worries that arise in our minds? How do we navigate within that uncertainty and find our grounding in the goodness of this Creation?
We are those of Auxhall, and we greet you, my brothers and sisters, in the love and in the light of our One Infinite Creator, who offers itself as a present to be unwrapped and opened as you sit in this circle of seeking. You have asked and have answered your own questions, and we offer nothing more than another iteration, so to speak, of this perennial dialogue of self with self. That you should gather to listen to our humble and meager words is an honor to us who seek to serve those of the service-to-others path as best our pursuit of wisdom can allow. It is another instance of the conversations you have outside of this circle, whether on the couch with a cherished companion or within the self amongst the many levels of consciousness that you circumscribe with your entityness, so to speak. We impress upon you, therefore, how appropriate it is to engage in this seeking, and in light of your query, how much the concerns and handwringing of the quotidian issues of life partake of this central task of seeking.
As you can see, my friends, we wish to dive right in, but we are bound to offer a cautionary word first, for we recognize the participation of several who are new to this form of communication. It is no different than any communication which you encounter in your lives, and as fairly balanced and well-adjusted adults you understand well that it is your duty to discern between that which is for you, which meets your gaze and announces itself as a truth to be borne at that moment by that self.
Conversely, there are times when you hear of information that is not something you care to review, not something that, in your heart of hearts, you can find a place for. It is the wise seeker who does not utterly dismiss that which seems inappropriate or unsuited to their seeking and projects at the time, but there is a place for considering that which is not resonant. My friends, when it comes to those highly refined questions of seeking, you must be very discriminating, very picky, as this instrument would say. Your diet of information is your responsibility. This individuated consciousness you work with is bound by this responsibility.
You may be assured that what is not for you that we may speak may be for another, and therefore, you may feel utterly at liberty to dismiss and discount anything that we say in our communications with you which causes you distress. For you must understand: we wish only to help you. We are answering a call that we have received from you individually, collectively, and across densities in which time has variable meaning. These truths stretch into the future, into the past, and they oscillate within your present. They are yours to do with as you wish, for this is the free will our benevolent and loving creator has bestowed upon us. The exercise of this will we must leave to you.
Please use your discretion; consider what we say very carefully with an eye towards what appears to you as an old friend, so to speak, what reminds you of something you have only a vague recollection of but yet you feel in your heart is valid. By doing this small favor for us, you leave us free to understand your calling in an imperfect manner, and therefore we have leeway to err in this understanding, and we may proceed without feeling we have led you astray. Thank you for your dedication and concentration on the sanctity and refinement of our gathering. We shall now proceed to the topic at hand and will as usual offer follow-up opportunities for further inquiry.
You are working lately with issues that are in the mix when it comes to those late days of a third density on a planet. We of Auxhall have offered this insight many times to seekers such as yourselves because one must have some assurance that one is not oneself the problem with the world. There are so many places to look and see trouble, the brewing conditions which cause the concern, the anxiety, the worry, and these attend not only global, national, regional events but also the life of an individual, a mind/body/spirit complex seeking to place those three qualities of consciousness in a context that tells a story.
This story you tell is your life, but it is only one narration. This means you must be very understanding that all will not seem well in your life and in the wider world in which you find your grounding and possibly a sense of security. You are situated, my friends, in a world that offers you many opportunities to have a change of mind, a shift in your mood, in your attitude. These shifts are not bad in any way when looked at from the point of view of third density and its project of the individual finding its interface points, so to speak, with a larger complex. When you see these events in the world, think of it perhaps as on a grand scale what you deal with when you lay in bed at night and think of your uncertainties, your fears.
It is easy in the abstract, my friends, to see the educational nature of these thoughts and feelings, to see how they wear down the rough edges of a Creator in training, we might say, how they show you those aspects where you do not necessarily bring your creative powers to bear on the experience. They are your teachers, these seeming failures or fears. You are of course accustomed to see anything causing stress as to be dealt with in a final manner, to be packaged away perhaps or resolved in a thoroughgoing and complete manner. And yet, these issues keep popping up, first with one face, and then with another, constantly challenging you to find your footing, to hold onto something that can steady you. And if you should be so tossed and turned within your own life, what then of the greater challenges that are occurring no matter where the sun and its light falls upon this sphere?
We agree, my friends: this is cause for bringing one’s attention to bear on this situation. You are correct to give it your best efforts at stabilizing. This is not some kind of transient defense mechanism necessarily.
What we would remind you of is how your concept of stability has altered itself throughout the evolution of your personality, narrowly speaking, and the greater consciousness that provides the soil for this personality, more generally and broadly. For we must emphasize how this narrative of your life focuses on one level of development, one stratum of consciousness that is not limited but, my friends, quite, quite infinite. You are not limited to the constraints that life places upon you, except to the extent that you accept them. But constraints do limit the ability of an individual to, let us say, fall too far. In other words, by limiting yourself, you limit the degree to which you can lose touch with your main thrust of energies in your life. It is, in other words, stabilizing to have limits, and to release yourself from these limits will necessarily and consequently cause a feeling of being off-center.
We hope we have given you all a candid idea of why this is: a more constrained awareness of the Creation, a more constrained, shall we say, risk. It is a misnomer to label events that cannot possibly be mistakes in a spiritual sense as risk, but we must acknowledge the appropriateness of that deep part of the body geared towards survival concerns. And so even when the life is not threatened, there is a tendency in third density to think in terms of survival even when life and death [are] not on the table. This instrument has some rather harsh memories of losing a job or a friend or a relationship of some kind and feeling the walls closing in [and,] simultaneously, the free fall in midair. You see therefore how consciousness projected into the illusion wants it both ways. We wish to be trapped, and we lament being trapped; we wish to be utterly free, and we lament the lack of orientation that this provides, for when you can radiate in any direction, there is no guide on which direction shall be emphasized.
So there is this concept of orientation we have expressed, the idea that there is a directionality to the flow of your life that bears out the goodness of the Creation and its project of evolution. How shall you orient yourself, my friends, when the day-to-day worries close in on you and limit your ability to love on your feet, as one might say? For you may think on your feet all you like, and yet this may be exhausted at a very early stage in the process.
Those of the Confederation who hail from the complex of Ra once spoke of this exhaustion as a crucial state one reaches in third density. Catalyst will drain you of energy so long as you rely upon your own individual resources within your mind/body/spirit complex. This is a salutary phenomenon, we hasten to add, because the goal of individuation, in part, is the emptying out of the vessel, the recognition on the part of the mind/body/spirit complex that one’s own resources are insufficient to the task that lies before one, and this despair that proceeds from this recognition is a necessary step for the dedicated seeker, one who must find oneself utterly devoid, at some point, of an answer to the barrage of questions and urgent emergencies that assault one’s consciousness. It is almost as if the Creation is designed to wear you out, wear you down, and this must seem to many on this planet as a hostile act, we are certain.
But who are you? Are you merely a personality going through a litany of affairs and then dropping dead after some time? Well, my friends, this is true, but it is not a complete answer. The narrative of your life is focused on a small piece of what is important because you are learning to be many selves at once. You are learning to abide a consciousness that stretches across the strata of densities, across what is consciously available and below the conscious, the vast ocean of mind in which you dip so thoughtlessly. And it is good, we reiterate, to be thoughtless in this, for you are not here to be simply a boundless entity full of all possibilities realized, but to [instead] be a boundless entity nevertheless constrained.
Focus is a constraint. Focus is the nature of creation. It is the seminal step that links the very idea of infinity to the possibility of the finite, the very vastness of what is possible with the crucible of manifestation. Now, we of Auxhall have not participated in your third density in some time, and so we ascribe [to ourselves] no superior comprehension of its mysteries, its sorrows, its nature; we leave that to you. However, we also understand our past as individuals, and we know with unshakable certainty where it leads. So let us offer some thoughts to situate this conundrum we have painted.
There is something left over when you have utterly despaired of your ability to achieve what you desire, or what you think you desire. There is not an ability to alienate totally your foundational Creatorship from your consciousness, for my friends: what consciousness is, and what the Creator is, these are very close. They are not as distinct as your language allows. And as other Confederation entities have explained, the lines you draw to separate this from that are quite arbitrary and sometimes hard for us to experience as such. This is cause for your discretion, but also cause for our ability to provide a novel vantage point from which to view the situation.
So when life has caused you to despair of your ability to meet it as the personality you have decided you are, what is left over is your more total self, the negative space around your personality that seems so empty. By exhausting your personality you find the very void around you coming alive, bursting into light. It was there all along, this greater self that rejoices, not in spite of your tears, but in many cases for the very reason you weep. It is cradling you in its arms. It is looking at our Creator, locking eyes with it quite fiercely and lovingly and passionately. And all that it can do, all it can do, my friends, is hold you and hope that one day you can feel what it feels.
And as you emerge from the infantile depths of third density consciousness, you begin to feel this vibration that it conveys to you. You begin to sense something that you cannot put your finger on; it is not a fact that grounds you or a safety guard that limits you. It is the very goodness of an all-encompassing Creation, the plenum of potential at your feet, yours with which to build, to stretch out, to grow, to love. We have been building to this point for some time and we finally burst the dam and let faith out of its cage.
Faith, my friends. You are wont to believe faith is a capacity that you must go goad yourself into feeling, trick yourself into acknowledging. But there is no contrivance necessary; there is no reason to treat yourself so shabbily by thinking that your faith is some sort of trick. You need not invent this at all, and we would urge you not to simply intellectualize this.
Faith is not intellectual; faith is counter-intellectual. It is that negative space in which the sense you have made finds itself coming into form, into focus, from the pressure the surrounding seeming void creates. It is the baseline, my friends, the carrier wave. It is always there. It need not be sought at all. It provides the basis for all seeking itself and therefore all catalysis. All events that make a dent in one’s consciousness have within them the promise of this thing. For they can all be swept away, and yet you are the Creator. Your entire life can crumble, and yet you are possessing the power that created and destroyed galaxy upon galaxy.
It is this faith that you learn to draw upon instead of your own resources. And as this bitter and cruel world wears away at you, you learn that it is no enemy at all, no danger of any lasting nature, but instead it empties you out so that you may let the Creator shine through you all the more brilliantly. It is for this reason, my friends, that we urge you to engage in the meditation, the inner inquiry into one’s nature, so that you must not believe us, for we would not have you take our word at all. We would have you doubt us and therefore prove to yourself the character of yourself on your own terms.
That is faith; that is the foundation upon which a fourth density being of light can be built, [upon which] a fourth density civilization in balance can emerge from all of the strife and pollution and grief. Planet Earth will get there, and each moment you spend getting to know yourself better and showing a purer version of yourself – a more total and all-encompassing version of yourself – to others, in those small ways that love mediates, that [act] builds towards the paradise before you, and that [act] reaches back into the illusion of this troubled planet. It allows you a place to put your feet, not as the personality that you might think you are at this moment, but as a daughter or son of a living, vibrant deity growing into its inheritance, learning the ways of creation, and dancing through an illusion, with each creative and unique step showing your brothers and sisters what is truly real.
My brothers and sisters, go within and find whether we speak the truth there. This is the way of wisdom, and this path goes directly through the garden of love. And we assure you, you will all meet in this garden, and the laughter at the pettiness of the [worldly] concerns will be unceasing and contagious. And we will share this laughter with you, for the issue of faith is joy at the sheer beauty that we see in each reflection of the Creator.
We are those of Auxhall, and we would like to take this opportunity to bring our sermonette to a pause so that we may address any unaddressed issues in your calling. At this time if there is a follow-up question, please speak it, and we will do our level best to answer it. We are those of Auxhall.
Hannah: Do you think there’s a difference between faith and personal willpower?
I am Auxhall and I am aware of your question, my sister. This is quite incisive; you penetrate the outer message.
Willpower is a capacity that is foundational to the Creation. The first distortion is this free will, and while the freedom is emphasized, the will is most mighty. Yet one must have this seat of willpower emplaced within an illusion; it cannot simply come out of nowhere. And it is the best example of the exhaustion we spoke of earlier to rely upon will alone, for what part of yourself does this will reflect the desire of? Desire being the engine of evolution throughout the creation, and willpower the conveyor of desire from potential to kinetic.
The faith enters into the picture with one recognizes the limited nature of these desires and the paucity of will that often accompanies third density group individuated consciousness. You see, will of the self becomes diminished, and there must be many phases to will delivering unto the seeker what he or she desires. As one explores the foundation stones of faith, the belief in the inherent and universal goodness of the project of Creation, one learns to work with the will and the desire to find deeper levels at which one can bring what is will, what is desired, into manifestation.
Faith situates this search of the self to find these levels. Faith provides a container of sorts, so that one may experiment as one will, for it is the nature of evolution in every sense of the word that a spirit of life reaches out in many directions towards many things that it might fashion into the desired and double down on this desire through a choice made at a deep level, below the conscious mind in many cases. We speak at this time of the inherent biases that underlie individuated consciousness. You are exploring the nature of these biases, and for most entities who have not made the choice – either to serve the self with utter focus and intent or to serve others with all of their heart and mind and soul – if this choice has not been made, you look at but the tip of the iceberg, as one might say, when speaking of these larger structures of consciousness that lie upon the foundation of faith.
We would have you know yourself, my sister, and by accepting what you have come to know about yourself, both what is desirable and undesirable, learning about how utterly multi-faceted you are as a Creator and as an individual, you may gain footing. And then you are able to orient yourself with the most refined and beautiful version of that which you desire. And we assure you that you will recognize this when it is finally located, for you will find welling up within you the will to pursue it.
Does this answer your question in any way, my sister?
We are those of Auxhall and we are grateful for your poignant query and offer others this opportunity at this time.
Jon: I have a question. Is it the case that, if one is working in a balanced manner, that they will experience little to no struggle in what they’re doing? I’m not sure if I’m phrasing that right.
I am Auxhall, and I am aware of your query, my brother. Yes, we believe we see the gist of your question. It goes to the very nature of catalyst, does it not?
To the extent that your attention is attracted by that which needs energy or work or refinement, you are disturbed in some way. This is natural, and it is not the case at all that third density entities usually transcend the negative feeling that attends catalysis. It is designed to make you feel incomplete and insecure, and this is work well done.
What balance provides the seeker is an ability to shift perspective, and when we speak of changing the point of view, we speak of, in a very real sense, changing the narration of one’s life by recognizing a shift in the narrator. You see, there are many stories to tell about one’s life, many faces of catalyst, and they are all available, but one must know how to change the channel, so to speak. One must have some sense of not being trapped in spite of the worry and concern. This the balanced individual obtains through understanding the parts of which it is composed.
Faith provides the basis for reading the instruction manual of the self, but the self must be investigated; it must be understood in its components, in its totality, and in its dialectical relation to the Creation in which it exists. All of these levels come to bear on seeking. By balancing, we are specifically calling out the recognition of these parts of self, because it is often the case in the phenomenon of catalysis that these parts require acceptance, and you cannot accept a discrete thing that you have not recognized as a discrete thing.
So we return once again to the ever present admonition to meditate and give yourself a chance to be introduced to yourself. Seekers who have become friends to themselves learn how to put suffering in perspective. They learn how to understand on a deep, sub-intellectual level the goodness of what is transpiring. And as an aside, we would offer that this balance becomes concretetized in manifestation and therefore provides the inflection point for the radiation of this vibration of unity, the vibration of positivity, to those around oneself and to the planetary complex as a whole.
We cannot provide a get-out-of-jail-free card, so to speak, for catalyst. But we can assure you, my brother, that in balancing you make it worthwhile, and it is this cooperation with the greater project that brings the satisfaction and the peace that reinforces that one is pointing in the correct direction, so to speak; that what one is pushing off of to travel in the chosen direction is something solid, dependable, always present and available: the ground of faith.
Have we addressed this question sufficiently, my brother?
Jon: Yes, thank you
We are those of Auxhall, and we thank you for your question. Is there another on this topic or any topic? Please speak it at this time.
Baris: I have a related question, Auxhall. Talking about the faculty of faith, how does one discern what is a story of the mind versus a deeper intuition?
I am Auxhall, and I am aware of your question. My brother, we struggle a tiny bit to understand the distinction. We feel however that this is an area where perhaps we may learn along with you, instead of being the seeming instructor (which makes us uncomfortable in any case).
My brother, the story of the mind is the first level of intuition. It is not clear to us where you as a people draw the distinction between what you have decided is the operative narrative and what [are] the deeper underlying concepts that are more felt than thought. These distinctions are very opaque to us. So we would simply point out that you as a man, as a human, as a mind/body/spirit complex have an idea of who you are as a surface phenomenon, and that this concept is not as concrete as you might assume, my brother. This self you dress up as on a daily basis is another tip of the iceberg.
The balance we spoke of earlier arises in a very real way from the recognition and connection of this outer garmented self with an inner template of selfhood. We say “template of selfhood,” my brother, not to indicate anything unreal or made up, but rather to indicate how making things up is itself the foundational act of creation. Your imagination connects your conscious concept of self with your deeper intuitive emotions and feeling qualities that vibrate throughout your mind/body/spirit complex. And indeed, one of the benefits of a creation in which individuals experience their selfhood as a complex – that is, as a set of components interacting dynamically – is precisely that this creates, in some instances, that more easily ascertained crystalline structure that may resonate with this core vibration.
In this manner one can have an issue of selfhood [from] deep down in the depths of self, and over time this crystal resonates the selfhood across the entire complex. Of course, time is an illusion, but we feel you might understand what we are saying as a kind of metaphor for a deeper process than we have available to you with your words.
May we elaborate on this whatsoever, or will this answer suffice for now? We are those of Auxhall.
Baris: No, this was great. Thank you.
We thank you, my brother. We are those of Auxhall. We are grateful for your question. Are there any final questions before we bid you adieu? We are those of Auxhall.
Jon: I just have one more. Would you mind elaborating a bit more on the imagination and its function?
I am Auxhall and would be glad to do this, having understood your question, my brother. You must understand, as our brothers and sisters of Monka spoke of last session, the projective nature of consciousness in the illusion. Mediated by time, thought proceeds in an expansive and contractive manner, bringing events into existence that create transformation. Imagination is a kind of projection of consciousness that can provide a translation between the ideal, the potential, the unconstrained expression of the Creation and the constraints of manifestation.
Mind functions as a mediating layer for this process of the Creator bringing itself into focus. When you use the imagination, you are harvesting, in a way, a deep and abiding principle of existence that you have, let us say, carved out. We give this instrument an image of a miner using a pickaxe to dislodge a precious gem. You have isolated an aspect of a unity and marshalled that vast potential into a form, for one aspect of the imagination is that it must have a referent; it must have something upon which the finger may be placed, as it were.
Once this has occurred, you see the process of manifestation come into view. This then provides a basis for the material world to provide further inflection points for projection to relate to, and the imagination can simply be thought of as this translation layer between the ideal and the concrete, the phenomenal. This noumenal stage is pregnant at all times with energy and vibrance, but because it offers the self 360 degrees of the Creator – that is, the light and the dark – it takes some time for the self-conscious entity to learn how to marshal these resources in a way that realizes the desire. Ergo the nightmare, the unfortunate event attracted to oneself, the idle creation of the mind that does not find satisfactory purchase in the world.
We would leave it here, my brother: that you are all artists. That is the nature of the creative agent of infinity: to bring projections of the Creator into focus, to turn it about, and then, my brother, to release it. For what one purchases with the gift of time must be relinquished into a pool of potential once more, and while the personality may feel loss, this is a golden loss, a bittersweet but somehow apropos relinquishing.
So must the Creation always be. It blossoms into full bloom, the pedals proclaiming the sheer beauty of the many observers, and that moment is precious because it does not last. It cannot last, for it is finite, and its function is to call to the infinite within, to remind the observer of what it [itself] is.
Have we covered this subject with sufficient granularity for you, my brother?
Jon: Yes, thank you.
We are those of Auxhall. We are most thankful to you, my brother, and would offer one final opportunity for the querying at this time. We are those of Auxhall.
(No questions asked)
Very well, my brothers and sisters. We are grateful for your patience with us, as we have waxed a bit long this evening in this instrument’s mind, for we have not spoken through him in the past except at times as a part of the Q’uo principle. And we offer those friends of the Confederation a wave and assure you that they are looking upon this circle with the tender love of elder brothers and sisters. Use your imagination to fashion a meeting in your heart with them in a moment of meditation when you ask for a little help with the conditioning and the concentration.
Build a relationship across these levels of self. The mind/body/spirit complex reaches out and grasps what it thinks is of interest, but in its reaching it simply shows its own breadth. Is there really any boundary between the self and the other at the end of the day, or does it recede infinitely the farther one extends one’s hand in love?
We leave you with this thought of mystery, my brothers and sisters, for it is our mystery as well, and we cannot plumb it in totality any more easily than you. Our sole advantage is our ability to connect with our greater selves, lacking this veil that you are benefiting so greatly from. So keep seeking, my brothers and sisters, keep stretching your toe down in the pool farther and farther. Pay attention and listen to your own higher selves in your meditative modes, and we will meet you there.
We are those of Auxhall, and at this time we take our leave of this circle, leaving you in the love and the light of our One Infinite Creator. Adonai vasu borragus.